Decision making and power in households

The concept of power is central to a sociological analysis of the family and power is the ability of a social actor to carry out their will despite resistance, it is the ability to get what you want even though others may not want it.

The family is a key place where power is exercised and and exerted and sociologist will see inequalities within the families the family differently based upon their theoretical perspective on how power is distributed.

The functionalist will take a very traditional approach to the family and they will suggest that there is a natural division of labour based upon biological differences. Talcott Parsons believed that women are suited better for caring because of their expressive roles as carers and they naturally care for children and also emotional support for the family.

Marxist feminist; They believe that men are the main cause of the inequalities and by reproducing the workforce and the inequalities within it within the family. The family then acts like a filter by which the anger of oppression felt by men in the workplace comes out within the family and this creates inequalities in the distribution.

Radical feminists; they believe that the family and the female role is created by men for the benefit of men to enable them to go to work without the burden of childcare or domestic work which is completed by their parents, ie the women.

Stepford Wive's

Stepford Wives is a 1972 satirical thriller novel by Ira Levin. The story concerns Joanna Eberhart, a photographer and young mother who begins to suspect that the frighteningly submissive housewives in her new idyllic Connecticut neighborhood may be robots created by their husbands. The novel has been viewed by some as a satire on stereotypical American housewives, as well as a study on feminism.
Two films of the same name have been adapted from the novel; the first starred Katharine Ross and was released in 1975, while a remake starring Nicole Kidman appeared in 2004. Edgar J. Scherick produced the 1975 version, all three sequels, and was posthumously credited as producer in the 2004 remake.
The term "Stepford wife", which is often used in popular culture, stemmed from the novel, and is usually a reference to a submissive and docile housewife.

The New and Improved Good Wife's Guide

Plan dinner for yourself and family. Even if the food has a "Mc" in front or a "King" behind, it still counts as a dinner you planned. Making reservations is also considered planning as is asking your husband to pick something up on the way home from work.

Take a nap if possible, after all, you deserve it. Feeding, cleaning, dressing and running after children all day is hard work. Plus, if you are rested, you are less likely to take off to Vegas like you've threatened to do on more than one stressful occasion.

Also to make yourself "fresh-looking", have the hubby watch the kids for you so you can take a nice relaxing bath and maybe have time to shave. He'll love that.

Do whatever makes you happy. If you enjoy dancing around the house in your underwear then do it. And do it for yourself not for your spouse because being "gay" for his benefit is just plain gay.

If you're lucky enough to have a "play room" then you can only hope that the majority of the toys will remain in there. If not, have the kids clean them up at the end of the day before bedtime. There's no point in putting them away while they are still playing. Randomly throwing toys into said playroom counts as cleaning up, as does piling laundry in the corner of a room. If you don't get the opportunity to clean up clutter, it's a sure fire sign that you had something better to do.

As long as there is nothing living or breathing in the inch high dust that covers the TV, cabinets or shelves, it can wait. And if your washer, dryer or dishwasher are running when your husband comes home, well it's a sign that you've obviously been busy that day.

Building a fire is fun if you have a fireplace. And if you do, try not to "accidentally" knock your husband into it when he picks a fight even though that might bring you "immense personal satisfaction."

Children get dirty. If there is even a spec of mud in the backyard, they will find it. As long as their hands are clean before they eat and as long as they aren't smearing dirt on your new carpet or couch then they're clean enough for the time being. If their loud voices drive you crazy, send them outside where they can drive the neighbors crazy. And to fix any hair issues, make them wear a hat. Also, if they want to jump all over their father the minute he walks in the door, let them. After all, they've most likely been jumping all over you all day.

Be happy to see your husband, assuming he's on time and in a good mood. Be even happier if he brought home a paycheck.

Give him a hug when he walks in the door, if he doesn't smell of another woman's perfume, give him a kiss too. If you missed him, tell him. If you actually want to know how his day went, ask him. And if you love him, remind him.

Make a list of all of the things you need or want to tell your husband when he comes home. In the midst of football, ballet, tuba and soccer practice you'll most likely forget. And this way you can hit every topic over dinner. Giving pop quizzes afterwards always helps to drive your points across, although it might make him mad and then he "might" have a fireplace accident.

If you had a stressful day, you retain the right to complain about it. As your husband he has the obligation to listen and vice versa.

If he goes out after work and stays out late, you also have the right to be upset. And you retain the right to turn off your cell phone the next time you're out with the girls.

If you can make one room tranquil and peaceful then do it. You need somewhere to escape and regroup yourself. This is why men have sheds and garages.

If he wants to go out for a few drinks after work then compromise. You should be able to go out one night also, it's only fair.

If you've both had a rough day then having drinks prepared is not a bad idea, especially if there is alcohol included.

Arranging your husband's pillow is a nice gesture, just try not to "arrange" it over his face. Of course if you're speaking in low, pleasant tones while you're doing it, it could still be considered a nice gesture.

If something doesn't seem right to you, ask questions. Just because your husband is a man doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants. Remember, where there is a King of the castle, there is also a Queen......

A good wife always knows her place, on top of her throne where she shall be worshipped by all.

The good wife's guide

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will give you immense personal satisfaction.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if neccesary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first-remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late, or goes out to dinner, or other place of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal: try to make your home a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Consider this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom.

Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillows and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always excerise his will with fairness and truthfulness. you have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

Domestic labour and gender roles in the family

Traditionally domestic or home space has been the place were women are meant to fulfil their expressive roles. These are all about fulfilling the roles of a carer by providiwng for all of the needs of the family emotionally and in terms of food and basic needs. Talcott Parsons the functionalist believed it was natural and an extension of female biology to be maternal and caring within the family. This gave females a sense of meaning and purpose abnd also meant they fulfilled their gender roles as 'mummies'.

The sociologists Wilmott and young in 1973 looked at the idea that roles within the home were becoming more equal and were not as distinct in the past. This led to the idea of the 'symetrical' family also known as the 50/50 family which believes that men and women are now sharing domestic roles more fully. This has led to the idea that there is greater equality within the family and that we are moving towards shared conjungal rather than seperate ones. However many feminists have questioned this idea and they believed that the burden of domestic chores still firmly at the feet of the woman (Ann Oakley).

Domestic labour and gender roles in the family

The family and post modernism

Post modernism is the belief that there is no absolute or total truth that can be known in the world today, only the truths that we find ourselves to explain the meanings of our own lives. As a result of this post modernist sociologists suggest that the collapse in ultimate truth and meaning in our lives means that we cannot say that one type of family is better than another because ther is no absolute truth anymore. There fore we are free to choose the lifestyle that we want and this is the only way that we can find meaning in our meaningless lives because society is so fragmented and broken up claims of what is 'normal' and 'natural' are no longer relevent. According to post modernist sociologist it is difficult to even say what makes up a 'family' today.